Shy children
Victoria
Neumark researches help for shy children
(Intro: can be
left out, 124 words)
Why
are children shy? Did you ever have a feeling that it runs
in the family?
New
research from the Child Development Laboratory at the
University of Maryland shows that a stress-related gene in
children may interact with being raised by stressed-out
parents to produce a shy child.
Stressed
mothers, says Nathan Fox, professor and director of the
Child Development Laboratory (February issue of Current
Directions in Psychological Science) behave in ways that
make the stress-sensitive gene in the child come into play,
resulting in shy behaviour. It’s not the genes or the
environment by themselves: it’s the combination.
http://www.newsdesk.umd.edu/scitech/release.cfm?ArticleID=1405
For Sure Start staff, the question is: how come some shy
children overcome their shyness while others don’t? What
can we do to help?
Perhaps some of our experts have the answers…….
Sue Suleyman nursery head, Brighton
Separation from
their carer is the first and key issue for a child’s
shyness. A child will not be able to mix with others until
they have made an attachment to an adult in the nursery.
Sometimes the child will make that choice themselves, but
it has to happen in their own time.
Of course, you constantly offer the child contact and keep
an eye on them. But the most important thing is that trust
radiates out from that first adult-child relationship.
Jo
Goodall early years adviser, West
Midlands
I
think you have to be cautious in making global statements
that then metamorphose as facts about a shy child;
labelling is to be avoided. Better to respond to each set
of behaviour.
•
Why
is the child shy? Most young children are by nature not
shy; they want to engage with people, explore things and
spaces usually enthusiastically. So when a child is shy: is
it their personality? is it due to their life experiences?
Is something wrong at home? Bear this in mind.
•
What about the
setting? Is it noisy? Are staff a bit scary?
Unintentionally, something may put the child off, even
voices that are gruff or loud.
Bernadette
Duffy, head of Thomas Coram Child Centre, London
•
Hold a picnic
or celebration to welcome new children, and their families.
•
Bring family
photos or a favourite toy as a link to home. Stick the
photo on their coathook or cubbyhole.
Kathryn
Solly, head of Chelsea Open Air Childrens’ centre and
nursery school
•
Establish a two
way diary between adults – family and nursery; add in
digital photos for the child to talk about at home and
nursery
•
Adults in
nursery talk freely with child whilst playing &
modelling language
•
Celebrate
child’s achievements, however small, saying “I liked the
way…”
•
Encourage
parents to look out for playmates to invite home to play
•
Play table-top
games in small groups to build child’s confidence
Angi
Hermann nursery nurse, 25 years’ experience
It can
sometimes take a long time for a shy child to really settle
in. I have had many, many occasions where a child has been
attached limpet like to me for nearly a month! Then they
miraculously do find their feet.
•
Welcome them to
the whole class, for example at an all-class storytime: “So
everybody we have a new member of the class this is Fred
and he is 4years old just like some of you. So I would like
you all to remember Fred doesn't know where everything is
in our class and it would help if you could show him as
well as the teachers."
•
Then, make sure
the child is introduced individually to all the staff
members and other children.
•
Add
their name and information to personalised areas in the
room like a birthday chart or a growth so they feel part of
the class
•
Designate two
buddies, children you know to be kind and helpful, to be
their designated pals, especially at playtimes, which can
seem very unsafe to children.
Minna
Reid, childcare manager, Brighton
•
Ask
the parents if they have a special object to comfort them,
a toy to sleep with, a favourite blanket, and make it
welcome with the child.
•
Explain
nap-time procedure, make sure that they feel comfortable
about where they sleep. Make sure the comfort object is
always available.
•
Give each child
is a tour of the nursery so they know where everything is,
like toilets, playground, art area.
•
At
all transition times like lunch, toilets, nap-time, ensure
that they are shown the procedures and accompanied by
staff.
Dr
Pat Spungin, parenting expert of
raisingkids.co.ukAt the older
end of the age range, many children are shy with adults and
at ease with their peers.
•
Explain to the
child about smiling, making eye-contact, and saying 'hello'
when she meets people.
•
Demonstrate
what you mean and perhaps practise it with her and model it
with other staff! When she next meets a stranger, ask her
to try out her 'meeting-and-greeting' skills - if she
manages, praise her for it. Otherwise, just ignore it and
try again next time.
Recommended
Reading
Adele Faber and
Elaine Mazlish have written several excellent books on
bringing up children. In Liberated
Parents, Liberated Children they describe
how one of the authors faced exactly this issue with her
own son. http://www.fabermazlish.com/
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